So I missed my train tonight. This is not catastrophic in the grand scheme of things. The biggest frustration is the fact that I have to wait an hour for the next one. All is not lost, however, because I’ve taken this time to look through some of my writing to try and identify some blog posts for the near future.

As I did so, I came across this line in something I wrote last summer, “And I grieve over wasted time and missed opportunities and weakness.” This sentence stopped me in my tracks (no pun intended). Really, it has given me pause.

I wrote this line as I was grieving the loss of a dear friend and mentor. I was sad when I authored it. I was reflective and very much focused on my interior landscape (dangerous ground, for sure). I think that the reason it stands out to me on this night as I am now making my way slowly home is what a scandalous waste of energy it represents. Not the writing, the grieving.

Let me explain.

Now, I certainly don’t mean to imply that grieving  is a waste of energy. After all, to everything, there is a season. When we experience loss and death, grieving is an appropriate and even necessary activity. And it works on its own timetable. I grieved my friend.

No. For me, the wasted energy is the energy spent on grieving those three things specifically: wasted time, missed opportunities, and weakness. That is wasted energy because it doesn’t represent forward motion. Wasted energy because it is a distraction. Wasted energy because it (the grieving) ultimately didn’t change anything.

Grieving Wasted Time

The way I see it, wasted time is not worth grieving because you simply can’t get it back. Time is linear. Time is in perpetual motion. As much as we might wish Doc Brown has the Delorean hidden under a tarp in his garage, you really can’t go back. Once it’s done, it’s done. It’s far more useful and impactful to focus on now. What am I doing, right this moment, to redeem the time?

 TIP #1: Redeem the time!   

I’m not really sure where I first came across that phrase, redeem the time. It was likely a remembered sermon from my youth, but it is a powerful tenet. Redeem the time. Exchange, convert, discharge, fulfill – make the most of this moment to bring the full weight of who you are to bear on the world around you.

Or to be intentional in your rest so that you have the strength to do what you do.

Or pursuing the heart of those whom you love.

Imagine if you chose to harness the power of this  moment and direct it in a way to ensure you are present. How would that change your next conversation? Your next phone call? Your next meeting?

Grieving Missed Opportunities

Some missed opportunities might deserve to be grieved, but not for long. Remember tip #1 after all, redeem the time! Wasting energy grieving over missed opportunities for too long spirals out of control quickly. Before you know it, you’re walking through life weighed down in regret and focused on what could have been or should have been. This halts your forward motion. It’s sort of like MarioKart.

Tip #2: Move Forward!

My 14 year old is an avid video game freak (what 14 year old isn’t, right?). I had the chance to play MarioKart with him over the weekend. Now, I’m terrible. Really terrible. If you’ve never played, in the game you are driving a little go cart on a variety of tracks. At various points in the game, you have the chance to hit these segments of track designed to speed you up or hit these floating cubes that will give you coins or something you can use to try and sabotage the other racers. And I miss more of those than I collect. The thing is, I don’t have time in the game to worry about it because it keeps moving at a pretty rapid pace for my non-millenial brain to keep up with. If I worried about all of these missed opportunities, I would never finish the race.

And I want to finish the race. More than that, I want to crush it. In the game, sure but more importantly, in my real life. I suspect you do, too. So let’s not waste any more time on missed opportunities. Let’s lift our heads and pay attention so we don’t miss the next great opportunity. Let’s keep moving forward!

Grieving over Weakness

Weakness. Why grieve over weakness? Weakness can be physical, it can be mental, it can certainly be moral – it can even be permanent. However, if it’s not permanent (due to illness or injury) then it can most certainly be overcome. It may not be easy, it may not be fun, but it can be done. And very, very often – weakness isn’t real. You may feel inadequate to whatever task is in front of you, but that does not make you weak. You  may be unsure how to proceed or what to do to overcome the challenge, but you are not weak.

Usually, we are afraid. At least I know I am.

Tip #3: Embrace Courage

 

And that’s why weakness is not to be grieved, because fear does not deserve our attention. Instead, we need to stare it down, take a deep breath and do it anyway, whatever “it” is. That is not weakness. That is courage.

Move forward (Tip #2). Do what is next. Be who you are meant to be, who you were created to be. Even if you are unsteady or unsure at first. Just keep going. You will get stronger. Don’t waste energy on things that slow you down, distract you, or stop you in your tracks. Instead, redeem the time you have, identify and evaluate every opportunity, and move boldly in that direction.

And guess what? Before you know it you’ll be pulling in to your home station and the world will have been made better in a very real way because you showed up instead of staying stuck.