Get Your Game Face On: 4 Keys to Breaking the Slacker Cycle

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Get your game face on. Do you have a game face? Do you know what that is? Game face is that look of focused determination that you see on athletes from Lebron James to Will Durant to Simone Biles to JP. Who’s JP? That’s my son. More about him later.

We all want to be successful. No one wakes up and says, “Gee, I hope I royally screw things up today.” We all want to be named among the best and the brightest. The hardest lesson for any any of us to learn is the one of discipline. The “D” word as I like to call it. This is especially true if, like me, you consider yourself of the creative mindset. Really. We creative types pride ourselves on being outsiders and, well…free.

The Catch-22 of that reality is that to be truly excellent at anything creative requires far more structure and yes, discipline, than most of us ever imagined. Actually, to be truly excellent at anything at all requires discipline. Discipline is what sets the true superstars apart from all the rest of us.

I am an expert in everything it takes to avoid discipline. I’ve personally authored nearly 1,000 excuses as to why I can’t get something done. Well, maybe not 1,000, but a lot. The truth is it’s much easier for me to utter an excuse than it is to admit that I just didn’t do the work I needed to in order to achieve the success I wanted.

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So to help myself move forward and to achieve my dreams, I’m going to own my issue here, publicly, for all the world to read. Hi. My name is Matt. I am a recovering slacker. (Please don’t read that statement as lacking sensitivity. I am deeply sensitive to and respectful of what it takes to overcome any addictive behavior and those men and women who choose that path are perfect examples of what this post advocates.)

There are, from my perspective, research, and observation, 4 keys to breaking the slacker cycle. Each builds on the next.

Key #1: Discipline

Discipline  is the foundation on which the other 3 keys will rest. Easy word to say, difficult habit to develop, and impossible trait to succeed without. If you want to be truly excellent, you have to be disciplined. Structured. Dare I say, organized?

There are those of you who are much more wired for this than others of us. (Notice what I did there?) Some people are just naturally more disciplined. Some people can eat the same thing for breakfast day in and day out with very few exceptions. Some that can schedule their day down to the minute and actually follow through on that schedule.

My son, JP, is a competitive athlete. During the track season, he is incredibly disciplined about what he eats, when he sleeps, what he drinks. Every decision he makes is in service to what will give him the best chance to perform well.

That’s the foundation – what is it going to take for you to perform at the highest possible level? Every choice you make must then serve to meet that goal. What is going to enable you to close the most deals? How will you ensure the highest performance from your team? What can you do today to ensure you hit your bonus at the end of the year? Those are the kinds of questions you need to be asking yourself every day. Then say yes to those things that move you forward and no to everything else. That’s what discipline looks like.

Key #2:Consistency

The next level is Consistency. Once you develop the discipline to work in service to your goal, whatever that is, next you need to work at it consistently. Not just for today or this week, but constantly.

The track season typically lasts from January to May. For those 4 odd months, my son is very consistent. He is in bed early, he is up with enough time to eat and allow that food to digest before he has to be at practice, he works on school work before and immediately after practice, he packs his water and snacks, he makes sure his uniform is washed, he warms up the same way, he cools down the same way, day in and day out. At practice he follows the program laid out for him by his coaches. He works it with the same intensity day in and day out. It’s hard work. He is generally exhausted by the time practice is done. When he doesn’t get something right in practice, he does it again.

This summer, he’s participating in a club team that competes in the Junior Olympics. At his very first practice with this new team, the coach gave them an exercise to do that consisted of running around the full track (400m) in 25m cycles of jog, sprint, float, walk. I noticed at one point that everyone else had stopped, but he was still going. On the way home I asked him about it he said, “Coach said to do 5, I did 5.” By inference, everyone else did not.

That’s discipline and consistency at work.

Key #3: Execution

The next rung up the ladder is execution, getting it done when it counts. Discipline and Consistency prepare  you to execute well. You cannot expect to simply show up the day of a track meet and win. It doesn’t work like that. You have to put the hard work in to be ready to perform the day of the competition.

The same is true for you in your professional and personal pursuits. You can’t just decide to make a call one day and expect the potential client to buy what you’re selling. You have to be prepared. You can’t show up to the job interview and expect that they will hire you without first knowing as much as you can about the job and the company so that you can show you are genuinely curious and concerned.

This is the point where you just need to get it done. If you’ve developed the discipline to focus on what’s important and prepared consistently, then you are ready to execute flawlessly. And repeatedly. Over and over again. Rarely does one client call or one contract change the entire course of your business’ performance or lead to the dream job offer you are hoping for. Duplicate, duplicate, duplicate. Execution is the key that will unlock that door.

Key #4: Excellence

Discipline, consistency, and execution are what lead to excellence. Excellence is a result. It’s the tip of the iceberg. It’s the outcome. It comes last in our list because it comes last.

When Adele took the stage at Radio City Music Hall in the fall of 2015, she didn’t wake up that morning and say, “Hey, think I’ll go sing a bunch of new stuff tonight.” No – she worked at it in the rehearsal studio, the recording studio, and the stage long before the audience were in their seats and the TV cameras were plugged in. Simone Biles didn’t just wake up the best gymnast in the world. She executed flawlessly for a long time. Simone Manuel didn’t just show up that day to win her first gold medal in the pool. You get the picture.

Excellence comes from disciplined, consistent execution.

So the question for you is what do you need to do today to build that disciplined approach in your own life? Where have you faltered in your consistency and need to get back on track? What have you not pulled the trigger on that you need to?

Let’s get after it. So that you get to stand on the medal stand.

18403720_10213242754167116_6395152159876927182_n If you’re interested, this is JP (not what we call him). At the end of his season he captured 3 top 8 finishes in the State of Florida out of 4 events. He’s ranked nationally in those same 3 events. That’s excellence personified. Not that I’m biased or anything…

A Quarter ’til Life: Getting to What’s Possible

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We spend a lot of time and energy on The Look Deeper Blog devoted to content about fulfilling your purpose and pursuing your dreams. After all, the whole purpose is to help you move from where you are to where you want to be.

That’s why I’m so excited to bring you something a little bit different today. An interview with my friend, Andy. On September 1st of this year, Andy released his first novel,  A Quarter ’til Life. Not only was I privileged to read an advanced copy of the book, but yours truly also makes an appearance as a character! How cool is that?

12717659_794328064006181_7662262712942471643_n        I wanted you guys to get to know Andy because when Andy and I were at college together, writing novels was not on his radar screen. At all. In fact, I’m not convinced writing was on his agenda much, period.  Yet here we are, some 25 years later, and not only has Andy written a great story, but he’s published it as well.

There is great wisdom to be gathered learning from others who have walked a path before us. Someone who has had to figure out who they wanted to be when they grew up long after they were chronologically a grown up. Someone who struggled to figure out when to write since it wasn’t putting food on the table (and still isn’t, quite yet).

So if you’re pondering starting a new endeavor, or you need a little shot in the arm to re-energize your side hustle or dream chasing – grab a cup of something that makes you happy, and take a seat next to me on the couch while we talk to blogger, author, and my friend, M. Andrew Cockrell (or just plain Andy).

What made you want to become a writer? – I have enjoyed writing for most of my life, and had a desire for years to write in a more dedicated way.  Penning novels wasn’t anything close to what I had ever envisioned, though.  I saw myself writing non-fiction, either more “academic,” research-oriented pursuits or Bible study/devotional material.

What was the hardest part of getting started? – The hardest part was actually AFTER I’d gotten started and realized that my initial drafts of those early chapters were awful.  Writing fiction is an entirely different proposition from the years of academic papers that I had been churning out.  Added to that, I don’t read much fiction so my mindset and skill set were both lacking.  I made all of the beginner’s mistakes: I went overboard with vocabulary, employed way too many adjective and adverbs, and overly narrated every part of every chapter.  Once I learned to eliminate unnecessary words, to show rather than tell, and to allow dialogue to drive the story instead of narration, the quality of the content improved considerably.

What were some of the biggest challenges you had to overcome? – The single greatest frustration was – and is – a lack of capable and accessible mentors.  Life is busy for everyone, and creative people are usually investing their time in their own personal projects.  Nobody wants to help a “nobody;” if they can’t gain something from it then it’s not a second thought for them.  I found a few people who were willing to “consult” with me for a fee, but I couldn’t find even a single published author who would give some guidance as I tried to find my way.  I knew nothing about anything when it came to publishing, and I couldn’t find anyone willing to personally point me towards the best choices.

What did you do to overcome the lack of mentoring help available?  – When I could not find mentors: I did copious amounts of research.  That in itself brought on additional challenges.  There is plenty of advice to go around about every aspect of publishing.  Distinguishing the person who is genuinely trying to be helpful from the person attempting to validate his own path by luring new people down it can be a difficult task.  And, the more I learned, the more I realized there was to learn.  In time, I became more comfortable in identifying some people that I wanted to emulate and deferred to their guidance.  I adopted a “do what I can with what I have” mindset and then prioritized the steps that were critical (and that I could do something about).  As I developed a sense of peace, eventually a few folks with experience began to be sprinkled into my life, making the last couple of months before publishing the book a bit easier.

What are your strategies for dealing with your inner critic? – I channel the critic in me that wants to produce the best content that I can, and I flat out ignore the inner critic that discourages me from sharing my work.  My background is in vocational ministry, so I have relatively thick skin anyway and I am used to communicating publicly.  When I became conscious of the fact that I wasn’t writing to please or impress everybody, the self-imposed pressure subsided greatly.  Another important step is to resist the temptation to compare myself to others.  Finally, when discouragement does mount (which is inevitable) then I rely on my like-minded fellow writers for encouragement and support.

How did you decide to publish the book? – The basic elements of the story came to me in October of last year and wouldn’t go away. The more I pondered the story, the more it evolved.  I began to consider the possibility of turning it into a book, but it wasn’t complete.  I think I know a good story when I hear it or see it, and this wasn’t yet a good story.  Still, it wouldn’t leave me.  After five or six weeks, I realized the missing piece was a missing character and that the story’s focus/point of view needed to change.  When I reached that point, I felt strongly that I finally had a good story.  At that point, I couldn’t NOT write it.  And if I was going to write it then it was going to be published!

Why did you decide to self publish? – The more I learned about the traditional book publishing world, the more I loathed it.  Publishing is a business, first and foremost.  In today’s world, the size of an author’s following is more important than the quality of the new content he or she produces.   With that being the case, traditional publishing was not a realistic option for me.  Even if my book proposal had been accepted by a traditional publishing firm, that would have meant 18 months – two years before a finished book ever hit the shelves.  It would have also meant that I would relinquish ultimate creative control over the book.  I decided to turn the project into my personal learning lab.  I am also viewing it as an audition of sorts.  I hope to use  A Quarter ‘til Life as a tool to grow my platform and footprint for my future writing content.  I am proud of the final product, both the content and the presentation of that content.  I don’t claim that it’s perfect but – especially to be a completely self-published project from beginning to end – it’s a lot better than many books that are already sitting on shelves in stores.  Hopefully the story will gain traction with readers out there in the real world.  Even if it doesn’t, I published a book!

What did you set out to do in your professional life? – I have been in vocational ministry since graduating from college in 1993 (except for a brief period from 2005-2010, when I was a child protective services investigator).

What did you go to school for? – When I started college in the fall of 1989, my plans were to become a lawyer.  I felt God calling me toward ministry in 1991, but I fought that call for a year or more.  By the time I stopped running from that call, to change my major would have prolonged my undergraduate education.  I was not interested in that, so my undergraduate degree is in Government.  My Master’s Degree is in Pastoral Ministry.

What are some of the jobs you’ve held over the course of your career? – Pastor, Associate Pastor, Youth Pastor, and Child Protective Services Investigative Social Worker have been the primary jobs of my adult life.  Substitute teacher, minor league baseball stadium employee, construction worker, and delivery driver are some of the jobs I have held at various times to supplement income.

What was the inspiration for the story of A Quarter til Life? – The main elements of the story itself were given to me by God, there was no specific person or circumstance that was the basis.  As the story developed, I began to see how my friends could fit into certain roles.  I even began to create characters for the story that were based on friends from my real life.  I added a few “true to life” snippets in the plot that most of the world will never discern anyway, but the major pieces of the story are completely fictional and originate from my God-inspired imagination.

If you could go back to Andy at Campbell and give him one piece of advice, what would that advice be? – Andy at Campbell needed a lot of pieces of advice!  My communication over the years would have been much improved if I had been more concerned with loving people and less concerned about being right.  That advice isn’t directly relevant to publishing a book, but it’s relevant to me personally.

What’s the best piece of advice you can give the person reading this who is where you were a year ago – thinking about hitting a dream and making it happen, whatever that dream might be – but who isn’t sure they want to or what to do next? – If you aren’t passionate about it, then don’t do it.  For most of us, creativity isn’t going to be a winning lottery ticket to financial riches, so that can’t be the sole or primary motivation for undertaking any writing or art project.  But, if you are passionate about it then don’t let yourself be deterred.  We all want to be recognized, but our abilities and gifts don’t come from other people and our ideas aren’t given to us by other people.  Our creativity is a way that we can honor the God who gave us our gifts, and it’s a way that we can minister to other people.  I remind myself often that I am writing in an effort to be a blessing to people, but I am never writing to be validated by people.

What are you writing now? –    In February of this year, I launched a blog (www.searchingfordaffodils.com) aimed at helping people in their journeys of grief.  And, I am turning my attention to a second novel which is about half-written.  After I finished the first draft of A Quarter ‘til Life, I separated myself from that manuscript for a couple of months.  During that time, I started working on book #2.  Now that #1 has made it to the finish line, I want to jump back into working on #2.

“But, if you are passionate about it then don’t let yourself be deterred.” That may be the best piece of advice and it feels like the right place to end our interview. Thanks, Andy, for sharing your story and your advice. Looking forward to reading #2!

If you’re looking for a fun read, I strongly recommend you check out A Quarter ‘til Life. It is also available for the nook at Barnes and Noble: here

Stop the Insanity: 5 Strategies for Maintaining Focus

fomo1-1I will admit that I regularly experience an overwhelming sense of FoMO when it comes to my profession. FoMO, or Fear of Missing Out, is a uniquely 21st Century condition. At it’s core, FoMO perpetuates the fear of having made the wrong decision on how to spend one’s time, because one imagines how things could, or should, be different. It’s usually linked to social activities and tied to an near-obsessive use of social media. But I would argue that in our busy, overcrowded world, FoMO can manifest itself in multiple areas.

This was brought into sharp relief for me the other day when I read a post from Liz Ryan called These Ten Policies Are an Embarrassment to the HR Profession . I agreed with some of it. I was baffled by much of it. Liz is a disruptor. I’m actually a fan of her philosophy at The Human Workplace– which I would summarize as keeping the workplace human. Great idea and something I have always been committed to in my 20+ years as an HR leader.

While I support her philosophy, I struggle with some of her messages. And not just hers (I’m not picking on Liz, her piece just happened to be the tipping point for me). I find myself increasingly frustrated and overwhelmed by the ideas that are flying around about what should and should not be allowed, expected, or addressed in today’s workplace. Couple that with the voice of the employment attorney (hint: not necessarily known, as a profession, for their innovation) and what’s your average HR Director to do?

I don’t think this is unique to the world of HR. It applies in multiple arenas: parenting, education, medicine, communications, marketing and advertising, technology…you name it. Insert the specifics of your world here and I’m sure you’ve experienced something similar.

I get it  – there are different types of people and different types of leaders. Some of us are born to push the envelope, relentlessly pursuing and pushing those around us (or dragging them, kicking and screaming) on to the next big thing. Then there’s the opposite extreme, the ones who never vary from their tactics or approach because it has always worked for them in the past and if it isn’t working that’s somebody else’s issue.

Personally, I think I’m somewhere in the middle. I think most of you are, too. I am all for new, but not just for the sake of doing something new. I’m also a big fan of tradition, but only insomuch as that tradition serves a real purpose or a real need.

Maybe you, like me, are finding yourself unsettled by those who are disrupters by nature. After all, our culture today rewards disruption. If you push the envelope, sacrifice the sacred cows on an open flame, or flat out ignore things that you no longer believe to be relevant – you are a hero. I am not opposed to innovation. Neither am I a fan of “throw-the-baby-out-with-the-bathwater” approaches to anything.  

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STOP. THE. INSANITY.

Seriously. It’s enough to make a guy run for the hills (or actively seek out a career change).

I think, though, there is room for the middle ground here. Anything we adopt or bring into our lives or professional practice should exist for one purpose – to move us closer to our vision. We should be incorporating the best of what’s out there in order to get better at what we do, whether that’s as a leader, a homeschool mom, a pastor, or whatever your role in the world.

If, like me, you are trying to learn how to manage the craziness, maybe these approaches will help you.

Turn Off the Internet

In other words, stop reading EVERYTHING that comes out (except this blog, of course). That is far easier said than done, but at the end of the day you do NOT have to read it all nor do it all. Period. You simply have more choices today than at any time in history. If you’re working on multiple new habits or techniques, then stop reading about more for the time being. When you’ve completed some of the transition, then you can start looking around again.

Or file what you’re reading away for another time. Use a tool like Pocket or a site like Pinterest (yes, guys use Pinterest, too) that allow you to save content for future use.

Know Your Business Cold

Whatever your business may be, know it cold. What are you focused on? What drives your success? What are you trying to accomplish? Be crystal clear about what it is that defines success in your endeavor. This is critical for your filtering mechanism. Once you have that down, you should be able to quickly identify when an opportunity, technique, or idea will help you achieve that success or take you in a different direction. If it isn’t moving you towards success, get rid of it. Do not give it any attention.

See the Truth

Be realistic about what’s working or what’s not working as it relates to your goals. Especially if what’s not working happens to be you! By honestly knowing yourself and what you are and are not willing to adjust to move forward, then you know what to pay attention to and what you can ignore. Don’t make a decision on the basis of what you want to be true, make it on the basis of what is actually true about your capability, your circumstances, your time, your family, etc.

Craft Your Vision

What does your future look like when you add that new technique or change how you do what you do? If you were the exact leader you most want to be, what does that look like? When you release your kids into the world, what kind of people do you want them to be? Where is all of this going? Write it down. Then, if you’re reading the latest blog or “research” you’ll be able to tell pretty quickly if it can help move you towards your vision.

By the way – I’d love to help you work through and create this vision. Just click on contact and let’s talk about it.

Be Realistic

Contrary to popular belief, you really can’t do more than one thing at a time. And you really can’t focus on a lot of different projects all at once. This tip is closely related to seeing the truth. You need to cut yourself some slack and understand what you can and cannot take on at any given moment. Sometimes, the answer has to be – not yet. Finish some things before trying to tackle others. No one can do it all, no matter what popular culture would have you believe.

Keep Moving the Needle

Slow and steady wins the race. Always. Because, really, the only person you are racing against is you. Whether you are trying to get better at something, change a habit or behavior, or accomplish your life’s purpose, the only competition is yourself. You may not be able to affect change quickly, but you can change SOMETHING. Do that and move forward. Eventually, you will get it done.

Start now. Or better yet, stop now. Don’t ponder. Take one action, right now – before clicking off this page – to stop the insanity in your world. Then tell me about it in the comments below. I’d love to hear your ideas and how it’s going for you.

For additional information, check out Michael Hyatt ‘s new site, Free to Focus.

Dropping Things…And Picking Them Back Up

I read this great post from Tricia Lott Williford recently. In it, she quotes T.D. Jakes saying, “The art of managing a lot of things is to never drop the same thing twice in a row.” That’s a great quote.
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I’ve dropped a lot of things in my day. Like this blog, for instance. It’s been a nice long summer. I would love to tell you that was intentional and that I took advantage of that time to reset and refocus and I’m cueing up a long line of posts to astound, enrich, and amaze you. That would be a lie, however.
The truth is, I dropped the ball. Life got busy. I got stuck in the middle of my own small dramas, and I took my eye off the bigger picture – off the larger goal and story. As a result, I’ve let the blog sit here idle for too long.
I am convinced, however, that this is something I’m supposed to be doing and so I will pick it back up and start letting some other things drop. Things like doubt, worry, and distraction. I will also pick up grace and keep moving forward.
So here’s what’s coming – a new post about coaching inspired by my son the runner and energized by watching the Olympics, some more Friday Thoughts on Faith, and a new feature – Wellness Wednesday – where I will attempt to bring multiple aspects of my life and passion together in one place.
I will also #lookdeeper at the reasons behind allowing my voice to go silent in these months and unpack that with you as well.
Ready to pick it up and keep going? Let’s do this…

How’s Your Vision?

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When you are a music major, you take at least one semester of conducting. It is one of the more enjoyable classes  because it’s very active. There is not a lot of sitting and listening to lectures. To learn how to conduct, you need to conduct. So it’s a lot of standing and practicing the patterns (yes, there is a method to those movements – see the picture at the top of this page).

What you quickly realize is that just as no two singing voices are the same, no two conducting styles are the same either. You also just as quickly realize that, as in most areas of expertise, some people have an affinity for conducting and others…don’t.

If this is your first time here, or you need a refresher, might I suggest you start with: 3 Leadership Lessons from Great Maestros, How Great Leaders Get Work Done, and 3 Ways to Build a High Performance Team.

We’re exploring lessons to be learned from great music conductors. Today, we are looking at the third lesson to be learned: rigorously crafting, refining, and executing a vision.

Crafting the Vision

Have you ever been around a leader who didn’t have a clear vision? It’s hard to follow that leader because you don’t know where he or she is going. It can make you cautious. It is most certainly frustrating. A leader without a clear vision, is a leader who cannot make decisions. A leader who cannot make decisions, while very common, is nowhere nearly as successful as they could be.

Legend tells us that Ludwig van Beethoven, towards the end of his life,  was still composing and conducting though he had lost most of his hearing. In fact, he cut the legs off of his piano so he could lay on the floor and feel the sound vibrations in order to keep composing. At the premiere for his Ninth Symphony, the one featured in the video above, it is said that Beethoven continued to conduct long after the orchestra finished playing. It was only after the concert master stood and touched his arm that Beethoven realized they were no longer playing. He could not hear it, but he had a very clear sound in his mind.

Your vision has to be just as crystal clear.

Refining the Vision

Now…I’m not talking about a pithy statement that you wear on your ID badge and hang on the wall in the break room (although that can be helpful). I mean a real vision of where you need and want your team to be. What are you chasing after? Why does it matter? How will you know if you catch it? When you can clearly answer those types of questions for yourself you are on your way. It is much easier to follow a leader who knows where he or she wants to take you.

I realize that may sound unrealistic. It shouldn’t be. I don’t mean to imply that once the vision is set, you can only go in that one direction. Certainly not. As you move towards the fulfillment of your vision, there may be new opportunities or situations that present themselves that may serve to further refine the original vision into something even better. You absolutely should entertain those ideas and, where it serves the original vision, make adjustments. 

Executing the Vision

Once you’ve crafted and communicated a clear vision and started moving your team in that direction, focus becomes critical. Every day there will be distractions that present themselves. Far from being giant time sucks (like endlessly scrolling social media or never ending levels of the latest mobile game) distractions usually disguise themselves as very worthy endeavors. The problem is they aren’t helping you or your team deliver against your vision.

This is perhaps the single most difficult concept for us to grasp in this “postmodern” world. No matter how great or enticing, we simply cannot do it all. We are not meant to do it all. In order to stay true to the vision you have crafted, you have to be willing to say no to what doesn’t advance that vision. That is a very hard thing, indeed. (For more about this topic see this post, The One Skill You Must Master).

Distractions come in all shapes and sizes. Most of them are ultimately good and worthy in their own right. However, as you lead your team, organization, or ensemble, anything that isn’t serving to fulfill the vision is ultimately a distraction. Anything. You have to get rid of it. Cut it off. Shut it down. If you don’t, you’ll soon have your team chasing their tails, not sure how to proceed – or worst of all – afraid to do anything.

This concept is no doubt challenging. I think of it like one of those DIY remodeling shows on cable TV (Fixer Upper, anybody? No? Just me?) On these shows, people find items or sometimes entire properties that are past their prime. They were someone else’s discards. Someone else who didn’t have the vision. Then the right person comes along and with the right guidance creates something extraordinary.

There is certainly someone in the world whose vision of what they are doing is completely different from your vision. What if that person’s vision is actually focused on those same distractions?  They will be able to leverage those good and worthy things to fulfill their vision. You will be able to direct your energy to fulfill your own vision. Those good things are still accomplished. You each fulfill what you were meant to fulfill. In the process, the world is changed.

How awesome is that?

A Final Thought

There are a lot of other lessons to be learned. We haven’t touched on the importance of preparation. We didn’t get into the critical nature of rehearsals (meetings) or preparing your team to execute. We only scratched the surface of actual execution. I think, however, I will leave you with this final thought.

Every great performance starts with an idea, a roadmap, and a vision. The conductor, you, has to take that idea (the music), the roadmap (the score), and your vision and invite others into it. Then you have to coach, encourage, teach, empower, and focus those others to execute the vision. When you do it well, in whatever setting, the result is pure magic.

 

Friday Thoughts on Faith vol. 2

On the loss of Maya Angelou – And a Generation of Leaders

(Author’s note: I originally wrote this piece two years ago on the morning after Maya Angelou died. I had thought to post it in honor of her birthday on April 4 or to mark the anniversary of her death on May 28. As I reread it this week, though, I decided it was a message that needed to be out there now, for a time such as this.)

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Maya Angelou died this morning. Whether you knew who she was or actually met her and had no clue (as a friend of mine did), she was an important character in our national story. She lived at the center of a defining decade and struggle from which we still have not extricated ourselves fully.

I will make a confession. What I know of Maya Angelou is largely through others experiences of her. I have seen her on TV reading her work and playing the occasional guest spot on Touched By An Angel or some other show. I have read bits and pieces of her poems. I respected her work and I respected her presence. I have never read a single one of her books. (I still haven’t…must remedy that!)

But I am sad today at her passing. And when I probe the depths of that sadness, I think the reason is that hers is but the next in an ongoing list of leaders whose time is fading. I was born at the end of the 1960’s. Indeed, much of the turmoil of that era was winding down by the time I arrived. However, the aftermath of that season of history shaped my childhood in the sense that it had a profound impact on how I experienced the world.

From my earliest memories, I had friends who were black. In Junior High and High School, some of my best friends were hispanic. Now, as an adult living in a major metropolitan region of the Southeast, I am proud to work, play, and worship alongside many people of many different nationalities. My children were both born to parents of other races and do not look like me or my wife.

Out of that season of unrest and violence and change in the 1960’s, there were many, many voices that spoke out. There were some whom I believe were raised up by God to speak peace into the confusion. Not an empty, emotional peace. But a true peace born of understanding and allowing for differences. Not a peace at the cost of silencing those with whom we do not agree. But a peace that passes understanding that can only come from the presence of God through Jesus Christ.

These are true leaders who do not push a political or social agenda, but call us to a higher level of life. Maya Angelou is one such leader. To me, Billy Graham is another. Mother Theresa. Brennan Manning. Martin Luther King, Jr. And there are many others.

What makes me sad is the leadership landscape in our world today. The passing of this great generation leaves a powerful void. I do not hear or see from any on the public stage today the kind of calm, peaceful, reasoned, and hopeful leadership that the world is so desperately crying out for. Everywhere we turn, there are extreme opposites screaming for attention, clamoring for votes, forcing their opinion.

It is no secret that I am a Southern born and raised, White, Conservative, Evangelical Christian man. My upbringing and my faith have influenced my political and social positions just as yours has been influenced by your experience. I hold to many so-called traditional views on things like work, education, marriage and the like. However, above and beyond anything I might think or any opinion I may have is this one thing – God is love.

God is love. God created man in His image. Male and Female, He created them. For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. Did you catch that? Whoever. There is no limitation. There is no exclusion. Anyone and everyone.

My point is this, we live in perilous and difficult times. There are huge problems to face and to solve. We live in a world at war. Not just politically or militarily, but spiritually. Life itself is under attack. Freedom itself is under attack.

We need strong leaders who can speak peace into the confusion. And I, for one, do not see them. Do you?

That is why I mourn at the passing of Maya Angelou and others of her generation.

The mission of Look Deeper Coaching is to help myself and others to #lookdeeper. I will persist in that mission. And maybe, just maybe, the voice of peace and love from the Prince of Peace will be heard once again.

After Thought

It is interesting to me that I wrote this nearly two years ago given the political season we find ourselves in as a county in the United States. My observation still stands. If anything, we can likely all agree that it has gotten more pronounced, this leadership void. Those of us who are people of faith, people of God, followers of Jesus must humble ourselves and pray. (See 2 Chronicles 7:13-14) Speak when we must, yes,  but pray without ceasing. 

 

3 Ways to Build a High Performing Team

Music Conductor Hands

We have been exploring leadership lessons from great conductors and how those lessons might apply to our teams, organizations,  and families. Last time, we talked about how great leaders get work done. We talked about setting clear expectations, trusting people, and being their champion. These tactics will empower your team to get work done, no question. But how do you ensure the quality of that work? How do you, as a leader, influence their commitment to do their best work?

That’s what every good conductor does every day, in every rehearsal and in every performance. I can tell you that I performed better under Wes Noble in that one long weekend than at many other times in my singing career. I don’t think I’m alone in that experience, either.  (If you’re a little confused, consider starting here.)

When I think about why that was, I see there are three lessons to be learned. Here are three ways you can help ensure that your team performs at their best. To build a high performing team, start here:

  1. Give them motivation to do well.

When I was singing with Mr. Noble, I knew that I wanted to do well. Now, I know what you’re thinking. What does that have to do with the conductor? It has to do with your mindset as a leader. I’ve been around plenty of leaders in my day whose basic presumptions about their people was that they were going to fail. And those leaders created an environment where failure was nearly inevitable. (Psychologists call this a self-fulfilling prophecy. You failed because I expected you to fail.)

There’s a great scene in a movie starring Michelle Pfeiffer called Dangerous Minds. Dangerous Minds is based on the true story of LouAnne Johnson – a former Marine turned high school English teacher in the inner city of Los Angeles. In this scene, Johnson (played by Pfeiffer)  is explaining how the grading is going to work in her class. She tells the class that they all have an “A” and that all they have to do to keep that “A” is to do their best work all semester.

Now this class of misfits and under achievers don’t know how to react to this news. None of them has ever had an “A” before. And it makes all the difference in how they perform throughout the rest of the school year.

To bring out the best in your team, believe that they are capable of being their best. It will make all the difference in how you lead and it will make all the difference in how they perform.

(Click below to watch the trailer for Dangerous Minds. Sorry, it’s not in HD.)

  1. Help them figure out the hard things.

We sang some of the most complicated choir literature I had attempted up to that point in my singing career. Some of it was just plain hard. We struggled to get parts of it right. We had to fight for it.

Never once did this brilliant conductor berate us or criticize us for not getting it right. In fact, I don’t recall him ever raising his voice. Instead, he helped us figure the hard things out. Consistently. Now, he did not lower his standards (more on this in the next installment). And he did not let us slack off. He never wavered in his belief that we could do it correctly. (See point #1).

I cannot emphasize enough the importance of this truth. In fact, if you remember nothing else from this blog – remember this: you must absolutely believe in the deepest part of you that your team WILL perform at their absolute best. When you are convinced of this, your coaching gets better. When your coaching gets better, your team performs. See how that works?

When we finally did well – he celebrated. He noticed.

  1. Celebrate when they get it right

In our VUCA world, every success can feel like a major battle fought. Precious little is simple or requires minimal exertion from us in the way of energy, effort, or commitment in order to achieve results. I don’t care what business you’re in.

We live in days of heightened stress and even higher expectations. It is critical that you notice when your team performs well. They need to know they are exceeding your expectations. They need to know that you value what they contribute.

Singing for a man like Wes Noble, we wanted to please him. We were killing ourselves (metaphorically) to get those complicated sections right. When we got them right and he smiled and nodded and said “Yes!” or  “Good job!”, it felt absolutely amazing. It kept me wanting to do well. It drove me to do even better.

You have to notice when your team does well, and you have to tell them.

 

At the end of the day, what it takes to create a high performing team isn’t all that complex. What is difficult is the living it out. The execution. It takes discipline. It takes compassion. It takes creativity. The leaders whose teams are killing it are being consistent. If your team isn’t killing it, start with you.

And start with just one of these techniques. Today or first thing tomorrow – pick the one behavior you know you can commit to being consistent in and do it. If you’re feeling pretty good about the state of things, maybe ask your team which one they want more of and focus on that.

Start immediately. Be consistent. Then let me know how it goes. Comment on the blog or drop me a line to matt@lookdeepercoaching.com

3 Ways to Stop Wasting Energy

The_train_to_Kyle_of_Lochalsh_-_geograph.org.uk_-_467835   

So I missed my train tonight. This is not catastrophic in the grand scheme of things. The biggest frustration is the fact that I have to wait an hour for the next one. All is not lost, however, because I’ve taken this time to look through some of my writing to try and identify some blog posts for the near future.

As I did so, I came across this line in something I wrote last summer, “And I grieve over wasted time and missed opportunities and weakness.” This sentence stopped me in my tracks (no pun intended). Really, it has given me pause.

I wrote this line as I was grieving the loss of a dear friend and mentor. I was sad when I authored it. I was reflective and very much focused on my interior landscape (dangerous ground, for sure). I think that the reason it stands out to me on this night as I am now making my way slowly home is what a scandalous waste of energy it represents. Not the writing, the grieving.

Let me explain.

Now, I certainly don’t mean to imply that grieving  is a waste of energy. After all, to everything, there is a season. When we experience loss and death, grieving is an appropriate and even necessary activity. And it works on its own timetable. I grieved my friend.

No. For me, the wasted energy is the energy spent on grieving those three things specifically: wasted time, missed opportunities, and weakness. That is wasted energy because it doesn’t represent forward motion. Wasted energy because it is a distraction. Wasted energy because it (the grieving) ultimately didn’t change anything.

Grieving Wasted Time

The way I see it, wasted time is not worth grieving because you simply can’t get it back. Time is linear. Time is in perpetual motion. As much as we might wish Doc Brown has the Delorean hidden under a tarp in his garage, you really can’t go back. Once it’s done, it’s done. It’s far more useful and impactful to focus on now. What am I doing, right this moment, to redeem the time?

 TIP #1: Redeem the time!   

I’m not really sure where I first came across that phrase, redeem the time. It was likely a remembered sermon from my youth, but it is a powerful tenet. Redeem the time. Exchange, convert, discharge, fulfill – make the most of this moment to bring the full weight of who you are to bear on the world around you.

Or to be intentional in your rest so that you have the strength to do what you do.

Or pursuing the heart of those whom you love.

Imagine if you chose to harness the power of this  moment and direct it in a way to ensure you are present. How would that change your next conversation? Your next phone call? Your next meeting?

Grieving Missed Opportunities

Some missed opportunities might deserve to be grieved, but not for long. Remember tip #1 after all, redeem the time! Wasting energy grieving over missed opportunities for too long spirals out of control quickly. Before you know it, you’re walking through life weighed down in regret and focused on what could have been or should have been. This halts your forward motion. It’s sort of like MarioKart.

Tip #2: Move Forward!

My 14 year old is an avid video game freak (what 14 year old isn’t, right?). I had the chance to play MarioKart with him over the weekend. Now, I’m terrible. Really terrible. If you’ve never played, in the game you are driving a little go cart on a variety of tracks. At various points in the game, you have the chance to hit these segments of track designed to speed you up or hit these floating cubes that will give you coins or something you can use to try and sabotage the other racers. And I miss more of those than I collect. The thing is, I don’t have time in the game to worry about it because it keeps moving at a pretty rapid pace for my non-millenial brain to keep up with. If I worried about all of these missed opportunities, I would never finish the race.

And I want to finish the race. More than that, I want to crush it. In the game, sure but more importantly, in my real life. I suspect you do, too. So let’s not waste any more time on missed opportunities. Let’s lift our heads and pay attention so we don’t miss the next great opportunity. Let’s keep moving forward!

Grieving over Weakness

Weakness. Why grieve over weakness? Weakness can be physical, it can be mental, it can certainly be moral – it can even be permanent. However, if it’s not permanent (due to illness or injury) then it can most certainly be overcome. It may not be easy, it may not be fun, but it can be done. And very, very often – weakness isn’t real. You may feel inadequate to whatever task is in front of you, but that does not make you weak. You  may be unsure how to proceed or what to do to overcome the challenge, but you are not weak.

Usually, we are afraid. At least I know I am.

Tip #3: Embrace Courage

 courage cat

And that’s why weakness is not to be grieved, because fear does not deserve our attention. Instead, we need to stare it down, take a deep breath and do it anyway, whatever “it” is. That is not weakness. That is courage.

Move forward (Tip #2). Do what is next. Be who you are meant to be, who you were created to be. Even if you are unsteady or unsure at first. Just keep going. You will get stronger. Don’t waste energy on things that slow you down, distract you, or stop you in your tracks. Instead, redeem the time you have, identify and evaluate every opportunity, and move boldly in that direction.

And guess what? Before you know it you’ll be pulling in to your home station and the world will have been made better in a very real way because you showed up instead of staying stuck.

Why is THIS Person Always the Hardest One to Trust?

(Part 1 of Trust – a series in a few parts)

1619420_10203114295719749_1192158614_nOne of the first posts to appear on The Look Deeper Blog was one I wrote called, A Work in Progress. It started out as a “placeholder”. I was still trying to figure out what to do with a blog (or if I even wanted to do a blog if I’m honest). As the blog came together though, it turned into something much more. A glimpse into the reality of one of my favorite thoughts from Scripture being borne out in my life.  The verse from the book of Philippians reads in part, “He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it…”

Not long after “officially” launching the blog, which basically means telling my facebook friends about it and asking them to share it if they liked it, I actually got a couple of “hits”. By hits, I mean people who read the blog and actually filled out the little contact form to request more information about my coaching services. Yikes! I was so surprised and so excited. And that got me thinking…

Why was I surprised that people would respond to the invitation to live a better story? That was my purpose. It even says it in the tagline. What was I really surprised by? That I might actually have something to say of value? That people might actually seek out the help and support of a coach and that I might be the right coach to help them out?

To some degree, I was surprised by all of those. I have a hard time trusting myself and I don’t think I’m alone. It can be hard to trust yourself when you’ve experienced a lot of failure. It can be hard to trust yourself when life turns out differently than you planned. It can be hard to trust yourself when no matter what you do, you just don’t see yourself making any real, lasting progress. It can be hard to trust yourself when you believe that you just aren’t good enough.

As I basked in the glow of the interest of relative strangers (one of the hits was from a former co-worker) in what I had to say, I heard that still, small voice in my spirit say – “You got this. I’m with you in this. This is what you were made for. Trust it. Go with it.” And I smiled.

I’ve never considered myself that much of a control freak, but it is still hard and scary to think about letting go of the outcome and just enjoying the process. Knowing that I’m not who I once was, knowing that I have learned how to be better, and knowing that I do bring value all conspire together to lead me to trust. I can walk in the truth of who I am. I will walk in the truth of who I am. And I will continue to unleash the best of who I am on the world.

What about you? What is holding you back? What prevents you from trusting yourself and who you are? What would it look like if you showed up as that person at work, at school, or at home? What would the world gain that it is missing right now?

Take a deep breath. Trust. And bring that.

We need you.

If you would like some help to discover what that may be as you head into 2016, click on Contact above and fill out the form to request more information and receive a free Sample Coaching session and special pricing for the New Year.

What to Do When It’s Just Not Working

Sometimes, as an HR professional, there comes that moment that everyone of us dreads. The moment when you have to end an employment relationship.That moment of truth, at once terrible and relief-filled. This just isn’t working.

I have sat on both sides of this conversation and it is never easy. It’s not easy to deliver and it is definitely not easy to hear. Especially if it surprises you.

It is said that hindsight is 20/20 and after nearly every instance where I have been a part of this terrible moment, if I’m honest, there has eventually come clarity. Signs that were missed, issues that I overlooked, and alternate choices that would (or could) have led to a different outcome. When I’ve been on the delivering side of the desk, I am almost always clear on what brought us to that point. It almost always is the result of an individual who either refuses to see the truth or is incapable of changing what needs to be changed.

It’s that last one I want to focus on – incapable of changing what needs to be  changed. That’s always a hard one for me to swallow. Unlike many in my profession, I’m an eternal optimist. I don’t automatically see the worst in folks. I am forever justifying the choices of other people in an attempt to give them the benefit of the doubt and the space to choose differently.

Often, I am disappointed.

It is ironic to me that in the age of politically correct speech, inclusion, and acceptance that our society is more polarized than ever. We are conditioned to see in black and white – absolutes, and rarely in shades of gray. We have also raised a generation that sees themselves as near perfect in their skills and ability without the benefit of the experience to back it up.

So when it becomes necessary to point out what isn’t working, there is often a strong element of denial, evasion, and cover-your-backside justification that happens. Rarely, if ever, is there the acceptance of personal responsibility. And that is a recipe for a disastrous ending that truly, no one wants. You, my friends, are better than that.

As a coach, it is one of my foundational beliefs that every individual IS capable of learning, adjusting, and changing to become what they need or want to become. So when I encounter resistance to that in someone, or in myself, it is understandably frustrating. And so I ask myself, what do I need to do when I know it’s just not working? It usually boils down to four steps: see the  situation for what it is, determine what is really going on, make a plan, and follow through.

See the situation for what it is 

This could be the most difficult part. Taking an honest look at the situation and circumstances. It is also nearly impossible to do alone. Someone who can listen to you as you describe the situation and be impartial in their reactions and feedback will prove invaluable to this step. Ask yourself some basic questions and maintain brutal honesty with yourself as you answer them:

  • What is happening?
  • Who is involved and what part do they play in what is happening? (include yourself in this list – it takes two to tango!)

Determine what is really going on

Things, as they say, are rarely as they appear. Beyond what is happening, what else might be at play? Now, it’s easy at this point to let your imagination get the better of you. I am not advocating conspiracy theories reigning unchecked here. I am saying, look deeper. Look beyond what you can see to what else might be at play. Consider every angle, every possibility. Consider the following:

  • What are the political realities at play in this situation?
  • What are my choices? They are always there…

Make a plan

This might be the easiest part of the entire journey. Making plans is not hard. I have a million plans. I can give you three right now to solve the most difficult challenges in the world. But making sure that plan addresses the core of the issue and reflects the reality of the situation is critical. Otherwise, you are placing yourself firmly in the role of victim instead of being responsible and accountable. Questions to consider when making a plan:

  • What am I willing to commit my time and energy towards in order to address the issue?
  • What do I want?

Follow Through

Once you’ve made the plan, you need to act on it. Get it done. Things will not improve on their own. If you do nothing, nothing will change and you will continue to be frustrated and stressed. Make yourself accountable – own the situation and the outcome and move it forward. You’re the only one who can. Check up on the plan daily. Ask yourself:

  • What can I do today to move the plan forward?
  • What obstacle or challenge might I face today and how will I handle it?

Come to think of it, this isn’t a bad approach if things are working also, is it?

If you are like me and have found yourself in a situation that you know isn’t working – maybe you are in that situation now – don’t ignore it. See it for what it is, try to figure out what is really going on. Then make a plan and follow it through. You are not a victim. Seek out the help you need to gain the clarity that you must have.

Look deeper.  Then move forward.

If you’d like to dig deeper into these four steps, send me an email here: Contact Matt and I will send you my When It’s Not Working Planning Worksheet to help you on your way.